- Title
- Jari Santana-Wynn part 2
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-
- Creator
- ["Quintana, Alvina E., 1947-","Santana-Wynn, Jari"]
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- Date
- April 08 2009
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-
- Description
- Interviewed by Leah Meyer and Meghan Whitehair.
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Jari Santana-Wynn part 2
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00:00:01.380 - 00:00:11.220
What goals do you see obtainable for your community in the future? What a wonderful question. That sky's the limit if you ask me,
00:00:11.220 - 00:00:18.910
my community in what I'm working towards in I hope that I can contribute to my community is that we will
00:00:18.910 - 00:00:28.330
have the ability to provide immigrant children in that Dina children who are born in the United States with
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the opportunity of a higher education. So that they can, for themselves, decide what it is they're going to be in that allow glass ceilings to
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the place on over them. I wanted to same opportunity for immigrant children in other Latino children that
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my children will have and have had the opportunity. Not everybody will grab onto the opportunity. Not every person wants
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to watercolors that everybody has that goal. But I wanted to be in a choice, an option in, in that's what, what I hope for.
00:01:05.440 - 00:01:11.450
More than that, I want these young children and particularly the population that I work with to
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really feel embraced by their community, to really feel loved. And I think that that is a challenge that is both a cultural piece
00:01:18.920 - 00:01:32.840
but also political peace. When I came to the United States, the topic was the multi-cultural mosaic. Everybody contributes a little bit in.
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There was the melting pot that was also a piece. And so it was about, we can all blend all of us
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together and we'll come up with one great culture. And now we're talking about fences. And we're talking about
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security, securing our borders. It's definitely not the same spirit with the view of different people coming into the country.
00:01:53.990 - 00:02:04.310
And so I hope that, that, that for my community that thou will disappear in some way or dissipate and go back
00:02:04.310 - 00:02:13.910
to celebration of differences, not just cultural differences. I think there are differences that are religious differences.
00:02:13.910 - 00:02:21.860
There are racial differences. And the Dominicans on all look like me, will look very different. My sister my brother
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looked different than I do. My sisters here as courier. Riskiness, lighter. My brother Sarah, straight and very,
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very black in his skin is way later. He looks Italian almost. So if we're going to have all that in one family and embrace it,
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why can't we have that in their community and embrace it? Why can't we agree to look at our differences and agree to
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disagree and learn from each other the things that are the best and take from each other, the things that are the best.
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Re-encounter to be the opportunity to learn something new and to make yourself a better person because the person
00:02:56.060 - 00:03:01.940
you've come in contact with, that everything about other people is good. I'm not that naive. I know that there are
00:03:01.940 - 00:03:07.640
plenty of things that can hurt us or we have to have the ability and develop the ability to discriminate between
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that in I just throw away the baby with the bathwater. Even in the most challenging or situations and families I have found strength in.
00:03:16.810 - 00:03:22.930
There's no way I could do my job if I couldn't do that. Because when somebody comes to me and they're broken,
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if I look at them as just that that they're broken. And then why why you invest time in
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putting them back together? If there's going to be broken, that's who they are. They're broken person.
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I have to believe that there's a part in every human that wants to be better. And because of that, I can then invest energy in helping them.
00:03:47.020 - 00:03:52.640
And I have to help them see that for themselves. I hope that our community can begin to see that for themselves.
00:03:52.640 - 00:04:00.830
So the Latino community, women as a whole, minority women as a group that we can see our strengths and really
00:04:00.830 - 00:04:10.400
play to our strengths and contribute to the rest of the world that way. And your communities, whatever you want to make it in,
00:04:10.400 - 00:04:16.730
my community can be can it square where I work? Or it can be Wilmington where I volunteer in the or it
00:04:16.730 - 00:04:23.290
can be New York City where I spent many weekends with my parents. Or it can be mined the community of my friends,
00:04:23.290 - 00:04:31.460
which are spread across the country. Right now, they're everywhere. I have friends everywhere that I only communicate through online,
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through MySpace or email or chat rooms or when the messenger or Marcel phones texting. However it is, your communities,
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whatever you make it. I hope that again, my children, I guess, are my greatest inspiration.
00:04:48.880 - 00:04:54.710
They have inspired me to become a better person. Having had my daughter, I would say was agreed
00:04:54.710 - 00:05:05.630
IS the greatest event that happened to me. As far as challenging me to become a better person, Jarrad, I was so young I was 21 when I had
00:05:05.630 - 00:05:14.690
Jared Jared push me to be their mom. I knew I could be I knew I could be a good mom. I knew I could be nurturing and loving and
00:05:14.690 - 00:05:20.180
really teach this boy because I loved learning. So I Newark theses boy and wow, what a great little person to teach.
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He's ready to learn and I just learned he's read or show off. You spend ten minutes with Jared and you're going to have here.
00:05:25.420 - 00:05:33.510
Did you know that? Did you know that? Did you know that? That's the kind of grief and he is very, very outgoing very much or has that.
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Charisma where people just kind of gravity story of him and he's the leader. He takes over things very quickly, kind of bossy like tsunami by Janine,
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such a quiet spirit, such a creative learner. In almost a kind of child that apparent were not bother with.
00:05:54.730 - 00:06:02.230
The flu, did not want to be part of their lives because she doesn't ask for very much. But she's a girl.
00:06:02.230 - 00:06:16.650
And I knew of all the things she would learn quietly without anybody having to tell her, because the stereotypes are out there about what a girl is or should be,
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then I had to be proactive to make sure that those stereotypes did not proceed per behavior in which she became her personality.
00:06:26.740 - 00:06:33.670
So I think she challenged me to think of myself as a where am I as far as my womanhood, whereas my identity as a woman?
00:06:33.670 - 00:06:40.000
And how much do I want to communicate to her? How much do I struggle with because they're not real, but I'm battling those ideas
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in my head constantly. How do I prevent her from having to write all those ideas through the rest of her life. She's going to have plenty
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of battles on her own. I am not even believing or begin to believe that protected them from or I can
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passively protect them from everything that is out there. But I do know that if she doesn't have to fight
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the same battles I had to fight. She can go further. So that's what I want for her. Injury, has a wonderful that
00:07:05.740 - 00:07:14.420
that is doing the same thing for him. And so I, I think we, we, we view it that way. And so there are inspiration.
00:07:14.420 - 00:07:20.410
But it's not enough to just shape the life of these two. Because these two are wonderful little people.
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And they can contribute a lot to the world. But there are a lot of children out there that need the same kind
00:07:25.360 - 00:07:37.820
of support and opportunity. So my job is to try to create that. What do I do for a living? I do child and family therapy.
00:07:37.890 - 00:07:47.460
Although I am trained to work with every population. And I've my my case load is very diverse. I have African-American teenagers,
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I have caucasian teenagers and young children. I have Puerto Ricans and Mexicans and all kinds of families that
00:07:56.810 - 00:08:06.860
come and go through my agency. And in my case load that my passion is working with immigrant children because I
00:08:06.860 - 00:08:17.270
was anyway grandchild. And immigration is as big an event as anybody can possibly go through. Everything changes, arrogant,
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everything that we knew, everything that I knew I had to throw away and no longer serve me. The only thing that I had was my FIFA.
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And so those people we're going to have to come with me regardless of where I was going to go. And so that's, that's
00:08:34.690 - 00:08:40.300
kinda the one thing that I do want to continue to promote in the community, which is rely on each other participate.
00:08:40.300 - 00:08:50.280
I always tell my clients I want you to join something doing something during the church. Joy. I don't care what denomination. Join a fairly young children.
00:08:50.280 - 00:08:57.660
I tell the parents during a playgroup, during the YMCA joined something, become part of something. You don't have to give anything,
00:08:57.660 - 00:09:06.530
just become a part of it. Because once you do, the energy of that organization or of that group will help you in some way.
00:09:06.530 - 00:09:13.520
And so that's one thing that I tried to promote. But what do I do with these people primarily is
00:09:13.520 - 00:09:18.910
to help them see their strengths that they have within them. And the opportunities that are available in that,
00:09:18.910 - 00:09:25.400
the opportunities are there if they wanna, um, the thing is everything that we really want, we have to work towards
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and we have to put forth effort. And so that's where talk has to match action. And that's called integrity. When what you do and what you say,
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actually go planting it. And when you become responsible, not just for yourself and your actions, but for the outcome in your community.
00:09:41.560 - 00:09:49.070
So when you can say, You know what, the reason I can do this is because I can't else in college, you know. Well, you know, we were not included,
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were not nobody considers us as far as becoming part of the college campus. Okay. So what am I just
00:09:55.880 - 00:09:59.590
want to sit around and complain. Now. I have they're responsible for the change that I want to see.
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So okay. So silently protesting and writing letters and talking to everybody that we willing to
00:10:06.170 - 00:10:18.740
listen and all of it in a respectful way. And so if we can approach a life that way, if I can teach that to my clients, I think that we can
00:10:18.740 - 00:10:29.150
change society and I can change my community to become a better community, more inclusive, more, more open-minded, more loving and respectful of each other.
00:10:29.150 - 00:10:34.370
And when you have that, the synergy, that is greed, the ability and the potential for creating anything,
00:10:34.370 - 00:10:40.130
anything that comes into people's mind is incredible. You can create anything if we have that respect and love
00:10:40.130 - 00:10:48.460
and kindness and collaboration. And those other things, are we learning kindergarten? So that's my group.
00:10:48.460 - 00:10:55.070
I love kindergartners. If all of that Mike Lyons could be under the age of six, I would be a much heavier woman.
00:10:55.070 - 00:11:02.870
But I don't always get under the age of six. However, I do get some in their magnificent and they cheer me up and they make my life so much better.
00:11:02.870 - 00:11:10.780
Because I learn so much from them of other openness and their kindness in the fact that even if they if I
00:11:10.780 - 00:11:16.250
put them in time out or even told her mom to put them in timeout the week before. They can still come in next
00:11:16.250 - 00:11:22.270
week and give me a hug. When they walk in, they're happy to see me. They can let it go. Grownups can't do that.
00:11:22.270 - 00:11:29.510
You do something that I sat there and they're going to be grumpy for four weeks. So my community, I think,
00:11:29.510 - 00:11:40.360
can go very far and I would love to see my community more educated, more actively participating, more integrated. And now for there to be so many groups here,
00:11:40.360 - 00:11:48.830
in groups there isn't about the Latinos and African Americans and Caucasians in the upper class and middle class,
00:11:48.830 - 00:11:53.930
and the women and the men. That's not what I want. I want everybody to come together, but before we can come together,
00:11:53.930 - 00:12:00.680
we'd have to know who we are. So that we can sort of say, okay, what is it about me that these group needs that I can
00:12:00.680 - 00:12:07.460
contribute to this group? And that's, that's sort of what I hope for my community. My dissertation,
00:12:07.460 - 00:12:16.390
which is the biggest project home and raising children that I've ever undertaken is on acculturation, stress, and coping in
00:12:16.390 - 00:12:22.280
young immigrant children. And again, I did this because that's what I went through and I wanted to know how to help
00:12:22.280 - 00:12:30.890
these children face this, which I went through. Immigration can create a great sense of loss that is very
00:12:30.890 - 00:12:42.550
similar to the loss of a loved one. And so think about if somebody loses, a parent will give them the opportunity to mourn.
00:12:42.550 - 00:12:49.640
We understand when they're not doing well, when they can meet their responsibilities, but chil immigrates. In the next week, they're in school and
00:12:49.640 - 00:12:54.590
we expect everyone to do their homework and they're going to behave and then I'm going to throw tantrums and you're going to be fine in the family aspects
00:12:54.590 - 00:12:59.800
that they're going to do all their chores and don't want to be respectful and do everything as they're expected to do.
00:12:59.800 - 00:13:07.120
And I say that's not fair because their morning and need their morning we have to support them in their morning.
00:13:07.120 - 00:13:13.840
That doesn't mean we give them a break and on lower our expectations of their behaviors and their achievement. It just means that we do with differently
00:13:13.840 - 00:13:18.850
in a more supportive way. He said about setting limits. It's about setting limits and enforcing them lovingly,
00:13:18.850 - 00:13:26.120
respectfully of the child everywhere they go in about setting expectations that are realistic. And again, that we're supporting them to meet
00:13:26.120 - 00:13:31.780
these expectations and I just abandon them in that. And so my goal with this dissertation is to be able to
00:13:31.780 - 00:13:44.480
communicate to the community that is receiving these children. Both the social, the neighborhoods, law enforcement agencies that
00:13:44.480 - 00:13:52.600
are working with these children. And and also the schools, primarily the schools that are receiving them enter.
00:13:52.600 - 00:14:01.840
This immigrant parents are entrusting their children unto to set up a supportive environment where these children can really thrive.
00:14:01.840 - 00:14:06.730
Because they can, because many of these children came to this country and there were thriving, what did they were?
00:14:06.730 - 00:14:12.260
And I tell parents are like your child has now become ADHD crossing the border. That's not something catch.
00:14:12.260 - 00:14:19.330
The child is no longer doing what they were capable of doing before. Something else is getting in the way in understanding that the parent
00:14:19.330 - 00:14:25.550
is going to struggle with this process on the other end because they're terrified of something that they don't know. You don't know these culture.
00:14:25.550 - 00:14:32.420
My parents, you know, this culture. They struggled. They had fantastic people with them. That it, my teachers,
00:14:32.420 - 00:14:39.380
I was very blessed to have the teachers that I did. And I think God for that, I know that God was with me all along.
00:14:39.380 - 00:14:50.240
He put me in the right places with the right people. And then also my advisors in my pastor, that they were there
00:14:50.240 - 00:14:57.410
were there to support my mom and my dad through these changes and to educate them about non she's now being weird. This is actually quite typical for her age.
00:14:57.410 - 00:15:02.990
I get to play that role now. I get to say, you know, it's quite typical that she would want this because she's growing up
00:15:02.990 - 00:15:10.520
in this culture where she's told that she, that she should want these things. Let's teach you how to talk to this child about this.
00:15:10.520 - 00:15:18.260
And here comes the other piece, communication. How do we talk when we were talking to three different languages?
00:15:18.260 - 00:15:24.200
In, at any given point, you can walk into this house and you're going to hear me say something in
00:15:24.200 - 00:15:34.700
Spanish and my son respond in English. Or my husband say something in English, and I respond in Spanglish. And so how do you communicate that way?
00:15:34.700 - 00:15:40.280
Well, it's even worse when a child doesn't have a common language with the parent. And the child is
00:15:40.280 - 00:15:49.310
growing up speaking primarily English and apparent only speak Spanish. So how do these two people communicate the words to mean the same thing?
00:15:49.310 - 00:15:55.850
Even if the child understands the parent and Spanish, when they try to communicate back, that doesn't convey the same message.
00:15:55.850 - 00:16:04.070
So I loop, I do a lot of what is called cultural brokering. My work, which is I interpret for the parent even
00:16:04.070 - 00:16:11.140
though the child has begun in Spanish. I tell him. Okay. Let me interpret for your mom what it means when you say boyfriend,
00:16:11.140 - 00:16:22.420
which is one word in English. But we have the word boyfriend for male friend, boyfriend, like romantic boyfriend.
00:16:22.420 - 00:16:36.130
And then we have the word fiance. Hey. And then lastly we have the word room and husband. Okay?
00:16:36.130 - 00:16:44.990
And Spanish, one word, novella. And that is, they got you're going to marry. So 14-year-old comes home and says, I want a boyfriend.
00:16:44.990 - 00:16:50.210
Panic sets in through the mother's even though she hears boyfriend, she her boyfriend, she understands word. Boyfriend.
00:16:50.210 - 00:16:58.000
Boyfriend means Novella. Uh, yeah, not the same thing. Now, the same thing, mommy thinking fiance or group.
00:16:58.000 - 00:17:06.590
Charlie's docking, male friend that I really kinda like maybe I want a date to a different, completely different things even
00:17:06.590 - 00:17:11.360
though they think they're using the same word. So I do this kind of thing all the time. And again, if we come into
00:17:11.360 - 00:17:16.490
every situation with an open mind and saying, let me understand you and let me get to know you. So one of the greatest thing that
00:17:16.490 - 00:17:21.650
I can teach somebody, because then you don't have to jump to conclusions and you really come into knowing
00:17:21.650 - 00:17:29.600
a person with an open mind. Even if you live with this person, they change. So you have to get to know them all the time.
00:17:29.600 - 00:17:39.820
And I look forward to many years we're getting to know my children because they're very fascinating little VBA. I hope that this project
00:17:39.820 - 00:17:47.990
will contribute to that as well. I think that women come in many different shapes and forms and we all have
00:17:47.990 - 00:17:55.190
very different interests and we have different strengths. I hope that every person that looks at This can see
00:17:55.190 - 00:18:03.920
that every woman can contribute something great. You're given the opportunity. And every woman that looks at this to know
00:18:03.920 - 00:18:17.440
that there's something inside of her that can change somebody from about whether you think the world will know about it or they never will hear uni.
00:18:17.440 - 00:18:25.870
Because there are many moms who have done fantastic jobs, are raising their children, who grow up to be Barack Obama.
00:18:25.870 - 00:18:34.670
Never thought I'd be known for the rest of the famous someday that what she did it because he was a good mom and she knew that that was her job.
00:18:34.670 - 00:18:41.320
And her Grant and his grandmother, fantastic moment here. And countless other moms who do fantastic jobs and contribute
00:18:41.320 - 00:18:50.240
wonderful little people to society who grew up to be wonderful big people. That's what I hope that this will contribute.
00:18:50.240 - 00:18:54.600
Thank you for the opportunity. Thank you.